I went out with my ex last night, after waiting for quite a long time from the piano practise. The night didn’t turn out what to be expected actually. We talked about trust as I said to him that I don’t trust him.
As asked what that I don’t trust in him. I preferred to keep it to myself as I don’t want of what I wanted to know turn to be disappointment and anger. I turn nasty and evil when I am furious.
But it is decided, since I am kind of disappointed and a little angry, I have to post it.
How am I going to trust him when he’s flirting to my own bestfriend.
Call me jealous what-so-ever, but what can I do. That’s my thing.
“I miss you” “you’ve been quiet lately” “Muah”. Let me rephrase, it started with the word I. It gives out different meaning I tell you that.
OK! I didn’t get all these these days. What am I? No one?
I need motivation too. I am a someone too damn it!
Remember, before mushy-mushy words coming and receiving. The word “Bunny” even disappeared now.
The only sentence sent “what’re you doing?”
.... cooking?
And only once-a-day text and maybe in the future no text message at all in a day!
“Can you see us happy together?” that’s what I heard lately from him.
I am no psychic that can see the future anytime about us. If I do I tell.
I don’t have a time machine in my bedroom and go to 2011 and looked hey! There’s us happy living together sleeping in a different room.
I don’t have this magic mirror hang in my living room where I can ask, “Magic Mirror, can you see me happy with me ex?” The mirror would reply, “Which one?”
“Keep the gates open”
How am I supposed to ignore these. I was in love three times in my life now. I don’t give up in love…in fact I look for it, in fact I thirst for it.
Trust me, I’ve been keeping my gates open for all these times, hoping things turn out to be well.
But all I can see is this gate has been closed since, tie-up with this titanium chains from top to bottom and locked with thousands of padlock where nobody knows where the keys are.
All I can see negatives in me, there’s no single positives be seen and appreciate by at least in this relationship.
I know its not easy to forget someone you love before…been there don’t that….but hey life goes on! Life is good!
All I can say, he didn’t even try to!
Maybe I was hoping too much from this.
Maybe after times spend together, I hope things could get back to where it was.
Maybe I am the only side who “perasan” all this time.
What can I say, I am a human too, have anger and soft side but for now the dark side rules.
“Sorry. This is not the good night. sleep well”
Yes, even apoligizing doesn’t sound sincere. I know, if there no I before it, it doesn’t mean anything sincere from him. He told me.
Crap!
I am losing him….again….*sigh*