Confession on the Jamban Floor no.989

Everytime I think of this person, I started to hate myself.
I started to despise this person.
I started to feel in a negative mood.
I started to lose interest in everything what I do.
And,
I started to fool around to forget and get rid of this person.

I've tried my best to do everything. Even to the level where I am not supposed to do. To impress and to be the best. What turned out to be a disappointment in the end.

I deny everything to my friends. I deny to everyone I move on. But what's the point, you can't deny yourself.
I do move on.

At times, the true feelings gone and it felt good. It felt surprising exciting.
Keep it up!

When you meet, it sure is the most awaited event on your life. Why is that?
When you go out, it sure is will be a disappointment turned out. What happened?

When you didn't see him, it sure is the longest day in your life. How long?
When you were away, it sure is the every moment you miss the person. Isn't it over already?

I always keep into mind that, "You don't need this person, you don't have to miss this person when you guys are not together. He never definitely think of you there."
I have to agree on this.

My best colleagues keep on wanting to slap me for being such a loser.

"That bullshit doesn't deserve you," she said. "Let the person rot in hell, that's the place for it."
Sound harsh but I like it. My colleague knows me better. I like her.

I spend less time, I ignore the person. I even curse the person whenever I saw on friendster. (added new friends,someone has a reputation there, then pictures..blahh!!)
I text less, I ignore on MSN. I even curse and say rude things on SMS.
In short, we fight a lot.

Why? Denial.

I don't care what this person do behind my back. Fool around for all I care.
I don't care what this person's activity and date with someone when we are not together. We deserved to meet someone, a special someone.
Someone you can *you know*.
A side story, this person does a lot. :)

Anyway,
With all ignorance and less time spend.
Why I am ready to do it, in fact I did it well myself, then *bang!* an interesting story happen from this person.
I changes everything. I feel pity, I feel sad. That's my friend and in need.
I am the only comfort this person has.

Stupid Kayoy!
Move on!

To think deeply before sleep and crying for losing the ipod.
I have decided, what do I care?
Do whatever both sides want to do.
This person never thinks of me and why in the world do I have to think of this person. He doesn't CARE.
Go do what ever you want to do. *that thing* or other things like gang bang...go ahead for all I care.
I have had enough and I am tired.

I may be hurt. I may be in vengeance.
For one thing, I will never forgive.

-The End-

Sasha reporting from Studio Oprah...